Am I depressed? If not what is wrong with me?
I'm 17 years old and over the past six years I have lost my Dad, and my older sister. My Brother wants nothing to do with me, even when I try to speak to him.
I use to cry all the time, almost every night. But now I find myself crying over little things that I normally wouldn't not even regarding to my family. If someone annoys me, or does the littlest thing...I get upset and cry. I can't even help it. Other people don't even understand why I am crying.
Some days I will be happy, and fine, then through out the day I think about my dad and sister and I feel like I lost everyone. Some days I can sleep all day, and I'm not the person I use to be. Now I'm so sensitive and have crazy mood swings. Sometimes, when I calm down I look back and don't understand why I cried. My mom thinks its depression, but I don't know. Some days I'm out of it, then some days I'm okay. I just don't know whats wrong with me. I always sad but I try to hide it. I went to therapy for awhile then stopped because it wasn't helping. I just want to know what it sounds like.
First of all, I am so sorry that you have experienced such loss in your life. Losing loved ones (even the ones still living) can be very difficult. Especially if you are young. When people experience loss like that at such an early age, it is difficult for them to process all of the feelings in a healthy, healing way. They are consumed with raw emotion that can be so overwhelming. Since they don't know how to process those feelings, they stuff 'em inside hoping they'll eventually go away.
What happens is just the opposite. The feelings fester inside and manifest as depression, anger, self hatred, confusion. It sounds like you may not have grieved these losses (and, yes, we even need to grieve the losses we experience even if they are still here on earth).
It sounds like you might have manic depression, otherwise known as Bipolar Disorder. This is one where a person experiences major highs (feeling great) and major lows (feeling very depressed) which you describe on your post. You can take a look at the symtpoms on my test for manic depression page.
Also, you might want to take a depression self test.
Either way, I encourage you to find answers as soon as possible and seek treatment. Depression is very treatable and can be overcome with success! Key is to get properly diagnosed and begin a treatment plan that will take you on the road to recovery!
Also, maybe your therapist was not the right one for you? And, perhaps the treatment plan was not complete enough? If this therapist didn't work out or feel right for you find another one.
I wish you all the best and hope that you are well on your road to happiness very soon!