Depression And Anxiety Symptoms:
Not sure, am I over reacting?
I have been feeling tired alot the past few months and have been unable to get a good sleep the past two nights. I used to love playing with my little brother and now I just am not in the mood. I also used to love writing stories but again, for the past few months, I just couldn't do it.
I have been feeling empty and that there really is no reason to even get up in the morning. The thing that's hardest for me is I can't tell anyone... My moms is in the middle of a bad divorce and doesn't want me to speak to my father so he can't use anything against her in court. My brother is too young and my grandmother, the only one I could talk to, died last year. It's my first year of highschool and I feel trapped. Everyone wants so much of me, like joining the baseball team, but I just don't enjoy the sport anymore. Am I depressed, too stressed, or just a spaz???
Thank you for reaching out. Based on what you said, you are clearly under a lot of pressure. Pressure that can be very overwhelming to someone your age.
You are showing some classic signs of depression (not sleeping well, feeling anxious, loss of interest in activities you used to like, etc.) However, I would suspect it is more situational than a true clinical depression.
By situaltional I mean that it is triggered by your parents getting divorced, not being able to see your father (very stressful, particularly if you are close to him) and the fact that you don't feel like you have anyone to talk to or support
you. You are not a spaz! All of this can impact your sense of self, your zest for life.
When someone is under so much pressure, the natural defense mechanism is to retract - meaning withdrawal from friends, isolate yourself, refrain from participating in activities you normally like to do (which can be a way of self punishing). All of this is natural. The key is to recognize this as a defense and push through it.
Allow yourself to do things that you enjoy. Give yourself permission to write stories again. Or, write a poem
and publish it on my site. Writing is very therapeutic.
It sounds like you have things you can involve yourself with so that you can feel plugged in again. For instance, you mention baseball... this can be a good outlet for your frustration - a way to burn some stressful energy - and can help you feel part of a group, which in turn you won't feel so alone.
It really sounds like you have an amazing amount of pressure and responsibility on your plate right now. Treat yourself kindly, lovingly so that you can get through this. Maintain healthy boundaries by not taking on other people's "stuff".
If you think you may be really depressed you might want to take a depression test
to get more insight. Also, consider reaching out for support by calling any one of the many depression hotlines
. There is so much support out there. You just have to find the courage to reach out (like you did here) and ask for it. You don't have to go through all of this alone.
Thanks for reaching out and I hope this helps! Reach out anytime!