Will someone help me?
by Victoria Anderson
(Bessemer City North Carolina)
I'll just be blunt with it... I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE. I'm worthless, stupid, insignifigant. Should this really cross a 12 year old's mind? Never feeling happy, refusing to get to close to people for the fear of them being ripped away?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! Everything bad happens to me, all my friends talk bad about me, and others hit me with books, blunt instruments, etc.
They would be better off if I was dead. I stare at my razor blade, knowing there is a way out. I have actually used it, to feel something other than sadness. But it left... like everything else has.
I am not sure if you will see this since you did not leave an email address. However, I wanted to respond to your post.
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for 12 year olds to feel the way you feel. You are at a very delicate stage in life. Everyone your age trying to find their place in the world, hormones out of whack, bullying and cruelty to others completely out of control.... I don't envy teenagers trying to grow up in our world today.
However, remember that it's important not to let others define us. Remove yourself from situations where you can be bullied and hurt by others. Surround yourself with people that are supportive. Do you have anyone you can talk to?
Have you seen my page that lists various depression hotlines? There are many different hotlines that you can reach out to in an effort to find support, answers and guidance. One, in particular, is the Self-Injury Support hotline which you can reach by calling 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)or go to www.selfinjury.com
I recommend you start with this hotline, a suicide hotline (also found on that page) or any of the other hotlines under the "Youth and Teens" section.
I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time and that you think you are worthless. For what it's worth, know that you are not worthless, stupid or insignificant.
I hope that you can find ae path that will take you to a place of self love and acceptance and that you find the help that you need to ultimately live a happy life!
I realize you probably feel there is no way out right now. I hope that you can find the courage deep down inside to reach out for help. Help is readily availbl - happiness is possible - you just need to have the courage to take that first step.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you face this very tough time in your life.