Who am I?

by Lolz

Sabbing in my heart.

Be strong.
Protect,
Beliefs,
Friends.
However strong I am...
I don't unrecognize my face,
Not in pictures,
Not in the mirror.

The reflection stares at me,
Who is it that stares.
Is it my face?
unfimilar-yet familiar,
Who is it that I see?
I dont know.
It's me,
Yet it's not.

Sick feeling,
Deep pit in my stomach.
My thoughts are empty,
Yet, they seem to enjoy,
Running wildly around,
Running with my emotions.
Dropping them here,
There,
One at a time.
Why must they do that?

Who am I really?
Different personalities.
I know what they are.
Each one is unique,
The Emo,
The Goth,
The Cute Little Girl,
The Sadist,
The Depressed.
Each has its own style.
Hair covering an eye,
Wearing all black and a chain,
Pastels!
Chains, Choker, Devilish Smile.
Sweatshirts and preferably sweats,
But why bother?
Depression.

Brink of crying,
Tears somehow elude me.
Tears never come.
The stapping goes deeper,
Talking would help,
"Why bother someone"?
Anxiety

Long day,
Tired,
So sleepy,
I lay,
Ready to catch some z's
I can't sleep.
Too awake,
Not tired.
Why can't I just sleep?
Insomnia.

I'm afraid.
I don't want to wake,
In the early hours.
Screaming.
Cussing.
Loud Bangs.
Blame thrown.
Crying,
Fright,
Wishing,
No relief.
Forever impacted.
PTSD.

Unrecognizable,
Depression,
Anxiety,
Insomnia,
PTSD,
Thoughts.
I wish to talk,
It would be useless.
Why am I this way?
I wish to know.
Though it would seem,
It's unreachable.
Who I am,
Who I wish to become,
My past,
My future,
The present.
What is in store?

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