THE SIDE OF ME I HATE
by Kim Amos
(Spirit Lake, IA)
My life with depression is one I would not choose to keep.
It is not enjoyable, pleasurable, or amusing.
I hide it the best I can, as not to offend others.
People conceive you as weak and attention seeking.
They tell you what your feeling is not Real.
They tell you to snap out of it.
They don't want you to talk about it,(depression) as it makes them feel uncomfortable.
But what about me?
Do they think it,(depression) makes me feel uncomfortable?
Do you really think I want to feel this way?
That I can't stop crying for hours and I don't know why?
And my will to live seems to disappear.
I think if I can make it to tomorrow, maybe, just maybe, the thought will go away, and I have beaten Satan yet once again and life will continue on just the same.
Or maybe this time he'll win, because I could no longer fight it alone. Maybe you know or sense there is something wrong with me or maybe you just don't care, or feel you have the time to "deal with it".
Or JUST MAYBE YOU can be the ONE person that can make all the difference. Sometimes just showing someone you care can mean the difference between life and death.
You didn't leave your email so I don't know if you'll get this. However, I wanted to write and say that I CARE!! I truly hope that you find others that love and support you so that you can beat your battle with depression.
Please know that it is a condition that can be treated with great success! I encourage you to reach out and find the professional support you need sooner rather than later. Don't suffer anymore. Get the help, get treatment and begin a new, happy chapter in your life!
As a start you can check out my Depression Hotlines
page. I have all kinds of references there for you, depending on your situation.
Best luck on your healing journey,