Teenage Depression: I Want To Die.
Nothing has ever been "good" in my life. And I mean NOTHING.
My parents are terrible, they constrict and constrict and then take drugs or drink excessively. I recently split up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He likes someone else, plays me like a toy, I have terrible grades and probably won't go anywhere in life, self harm on a near daily basis but my parents have only just noticed. I have next to no friends.
And I have been asked by the one person who I thought would understand, and they answered "you have a point, why don't you just top yourself?"
I was heart broken to hear it. Maybe I should. I just need one more comment like that and I don't think I could breathe any more.
Please help me.
The funny thing is, I'm going to and have appeared fine since my head started thinking like this, no-one around me thinks there's anything wrong. :)
Thank you so much for reaching out. I can feel your heart in every word you wrote. The loneliness and despair. In life it is so easy to let others define who we think we are. We look to others to tell us whether we are loveable, likeable, worthy of being a human being. Why is it that we give others so much power over ourselves?
Instead, our power should come from within. It should come from a place that is all knowing. That place, in you, is that place that knows how amazing you really are. That knows that you deserve better. A place where you can find the strength and determination to seek out better. To surround yourself with people who will love and support you. There are people out there that will do this for you. You may not have met them yet, but they are there.
Stay away from others who try to drag you down. Who are willing to diminish you to something less than you really are!
I know you are in so much pain but this too shall pass as long as you believe in yourself and find the courage to change the path that you are on.
Since you are thinking about dying, I'd recommend you reach out to a depression hotline
so that you can get the support you need. On that page there is also a suicide hotline and many others that may be beneficial to you. You don't have to do this alone! There is help out there.
I wish you all the best. Reach out whenever you feel you need to.