Will you tell them that I’m sorry? The people that I love?
Tell them that I’m sorry I was never good enough.
Tell them that I’m sorry that I was such a waste – of time, of space, affection, that I never found my place.
But most of all I’m sorry that I have been too weak, to lift their heavy burden, but I could not see them weep.
I could not fill their hearts with pain, though it could be for the best.
For them? Oh no! For me, oh yes, for I could not pass this test.
My life has made me weary, fraught with worry, pain and strife.
I fear I may not live to be a mother or a wife.
But still I struggle through the pain, the tears and sleepless nights.
So they never need to read this, all the people in my life.
They never need to know how hard it was for me to struggle, through daily life, through all these years I’ve spent in my own bubble.
So if the day should ever come, though I hope that it will not.
Tell them I apologise and I gave it so much thought.
Try to make them understand it was my fault and not theirs.
I made my own choice, by myself after all these years.
I never meant to cause the harm my whole existence wrought, but I’m sure they’ll all be with me right up to my final thought.
Hey Tanya! Wow ... your poem is so expressive, beautiful and powerful. I hope that this is just your creative juices flowing as you connect with your despair and that you're not currently suicidal?
If so there are hotlines you can call, etc. Even just by this poem, I can tell how amazingly talented you are! You have a beautiful soul. I genuinely hope that you are able to find the hope you need to heal and to embrace how amazing you are. By doing so you can share your gifts and experiences in a way that is sure to inspire so many others who feel the same way.
I do long distance energy healing. As you can guess, since this is my site, I do a lot of work on people who suffer with depression and it is very effective.
If you're interested, contact me at Dana@SourceYourJoy.com. There is help. There is hope. you don't have to live like this. You can get through this and live a very excited, joyful life. Even if you don't believe it now, I can believe it for you until you can.
I hope to hear from you, Tanya.
Big Hugs - and sending you love and light.