I was recently pregnant an in a good relationship.. Things were bumpy of course, and it seems I am always mad all the time and angry... Being I was recently pregnant I feel that my ex pressured me into abortion... I am regreting it an I feel like the worst person in the world... They gave me meds and I just want to take all of them and take my life away because I wanted to make someone else happy.. I am always crying, mad, angry, sleepless & just remorseful of what I have done... I did a terrible thing all for love when I wasn't even loving myself 1st..... I need someone to talk to... Because I'm crashing and burning slowly deep down inside..... And he seems to have no feelings inside of him what so ever... And is ready to move on and tired of my complaining....
First of all, thanks so much for reaching out to me. I know what you are going through right now is very painful and down right confusing.
What you write to me speaks volumes about what a huge heart you have. The fact that you are feeling remorseful and realizing that you let someone pressure you into something that was really against your grain is a HUGE deal. You should feel proud of that. You realize that you should have put your own needs first and that is a big first step towards recovery.
What is done can't be changed. But it sounds like having this experience has opened your eyes and that you have learned some valuable lessons as a result.
Please don't condemn yourself. You deserve better than that. Instead, allow yourself to grieve, to feel the sadness and the pain. Then focus on forgiving yourself. It is all part of the process.
Sierra, we all
make mistakes. We all
have regrets. If we let those define us, we would all be doomed. Instead, learn from the mistake, apply the lessons to your life and realize that, inspite of these mistakes, you are still an amazing person.
It is so important we learn to love ourselves - all of ourselves - imperfections and all. Once we love ourselves we realize that we deserve to be loved, we deserve to be respected and we will not accept anything less. Don't accept anything less, Sierra. Demand respect, love, compassion. If someone is not willing to give it to you then their feelings are usually not genuine. In which case, move on. One day, you will find someone who will love you for exactly the person that you are - imperfections and all!
If you continue to struggle with anger, feelings of depression, etc. I encourage you to go to my depression hotlines> depression hotlines page. On that page there are dozens of numbers to help for all kinds of situations! They are trained professionals available 24/7. Not only do they provide immediate support but they can also suggest local resources that you can tap into.
Hang in there, Sierra. Feel free to reach out anytime.
All the best,