Depression Hotlines:
I Need To Talk, I'm Feeling Very Depressed

by Marvic Wright
(Newark,Nj)

I'm going through a situation with my husband and I want it to work, but where do I start? I just need someone I can talk to and confide in. Right now I have no one.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marvic,

First of all, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and ask for help. It is great that you took that first step.

I know from my 11 year marriage that marriage takes a lot of hard work and dedication, that's for sure! Throughout our marriage we have had our highs, our lows and our very lows! There are many times where I am certain we are heading for the bid "D" (divorce) and then we manage to pull together, work through our issues and make things better than ever. What I have found is that each rough patch has ultimately made our marriage stronger.

There are many depression hotlines for you to choose from. You can find a complete list at my Depression Hotlines page.

Choose the best option that fits your situation. For instance, if you are in an abusive relationship then I would recommend reaching out to a domestic violence hotline. They can provide support for both the abuse and the depression. Or, of course, if you are just depressed and there is no abuse then go directly to a depression / crisis hotline.

No matter who you call, they will be able to provide immediate support and most likely help you find resources that are in your local community.

Thanks for reaching out. I truly wish you all the best. Believe in yourself and continue moving ahead with the courage that you obviously possess and know that, with a little work and perseverance,things will get better very soon!

Namaste!

Dana

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I Need To Talk, I'm Feeling Very Depressed

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Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I need help
by: Anonymous

So I'm 12 and I have severe depresion, what makes it worse is I don't know what's causing it. I have some guesses but I'm not sure.

Like a week ago I was going through hell. I had horrible headaches and cried alot. I felt like I was a horrible person. I didn't know what was wrong until I read an article about depression and I just burst into tears when I realized and ever sinse I started cutting. I would never kill myself because I have three amazing friends who i would go to hell and back for and I always clean the wounds but i need help but if my family finds out they might treet me like shit.

I found good stratagies to help but I have about one complete mental break down per week and it gets bad.

I want to talk to a specialist but my family and friends can't find out. I need seriouse help and don't know what to do. Please help me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I am so sorry you're feeling this way. Depression is a very complicated thing to deal with as so many things can cause it. Diet, lack of nurturing by your caregivers, negative thought patterns, etc.

I am glad that you want to get help. However, a professional can't work with you without your parents permission since you're under the age of 18. You can call a depression / suicide hotline as they are "open" 24/7. You can go to this page on my site and find the apprpriate hotline based on what your challenge is and where you're located.

https://www.depression-test.net/depression-hotlines.html

Please don't give up on yourself! You can overcome depression!

Try not to isolate yourself. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you. I'd strongly urge you to tell your parents, or at least some adult that you trust! As a parent myself, I'd be heart broken to learn my child is depressed. I wouldn't treat them poorly because of it. Instead, I'd talk to a perofessional and seek out the best treatment strategies. I would hope that your parents would do the same.

Exercise is good too! Meditation, music ... stay away from negative music, movies, etc. as this will bring you down.

Don't judge yourself either. Hold yourself in love and light. Be compassionate with yourself.

Lots of love and light coming your way!

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		...
by: Anonymous

Hi, so I'm 14, and lately I've been feeling depressed. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm loosing my friends, they won't talk to me anymore and when they do it's sort of rude. My dad cheated on my mom, and he makes a mess of everything and doesn't own up to it. I can't explain what he's done on here. He's just messed up everything. And every time I try and reach out to someone to talk to about him they never understand and that makes it worse. I feel like I'm alone and everything I feel is killing me from the inside. A couple weeks ago I woke up feeling so numb. Like i don't feel anything. Everything's plain and gray, it has no meaning. I've lost my drive to push through it. I feel like I'm drowning and everyone's standing on the side lines watching. I feel like I'm drowning in my own problems and I can't get out. I don't know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to and things are getting worse. I feel like I'm better off dead. I'm scared for the future because I'm scared it's going to get worse. I see no happiness in the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For some reason I missed this before! My apologies. However, I wanted to write to you anyway to check in and see how you're doing? I can feel your pain and confusion in what you write and I hope that you are doing much better now?

Sending you love and light,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Lost and confused
by: Anonymous

Reaching out for the first time, I am going through a lot. I work a full-time steady midnight job, a wife, and mother of two. Lately, I feel like I am doing everything on my own. I get very little sleep, but when I get the chance to sleep I'll sleep for 12+ hrs.

I feel like I am letting my kids and husband down because I'm never in the mood or have the energy to do anything. I do feel depressed and have anxiety issues and thyroid problems. But I don't say anything to a doctor cause I don't want them labeling and judging me.

Recently, I have been thinking that the kids would be better off if I was no longer in their life. I constantly feel that I messing them up because I don't know about myself.

After reading this, I guess I don't know what I am trying to say or even if my words/feelings are gonna be understood. All I know is, I am lost and confused.

I feel as if I am pushed to a corner and have no way out. I don't know what the right thing to do is. Do I stay with my family or just leave before the damage is unable to be repaired? If anyone has any advice, please help me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I apologize as it may have been a while since you've written this. However, I feel compelled to answer you just the same.

What you are feeling is so common! Especially for women! I've been there too! The answer is not leaving. It's getting the help you need to be a better wife and mother. To get the help you need to be a better, happier person in general.

We all have some healing to do! There's no shame in that! The shame is when you're not willing to do anything about it! Hopefully, by now, you've found some professional help?? If not, I encourage you to do so. You can reach out to me if you're so inclined! I work with clients all over the world!

Wishing you healing, health and happiness!

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I need some help
by: Martha

I feel so overwhelmed. My daughter is so mean to her children. I was not mean to her. My husband acts like he could care less about how I feel. I want to run away but there is not anywhere to go. I don't have anyone to talk to about my feelings I don't feel that anyone understands me. I feel so alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Martha! I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. It is such a horrible thing when you feel alone and that no one understands you. There are hotlines you can call and other places you can go to get support. It can really help to have an objective 3rd party that can listen, support you and be there for you - unconditionally and without judgement.

I hope by now you've found that support. If you need it here, please, always feel free to reach out.

Big Hugs,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Depression
by: Anonymous

I am so depressed right now. I am a 59 year old female. I live with my oldest daughter( who has always lived with me)and my 11 year old granddaughter and my boyfriend who I have been with for 20 years.

I am so unhappy living in this situation. I nursed by boyfriend thru a stroke and lung cancer because I loved him. Now he is no longer the same person. He drinks everyday and is VERY mentally abusive to me.

My daughter treats me with no respect although I have cared for her daughter since the day she was born at no charge so she could provide a life for themselves.

I have never thrown this in her face because I wanted better for her than I did. My granddaughter has seen the negativity toward me so now she is doing it. I am stuck in this situation. I am disabled and on a limited income so I am worried that I cannot provide for myself any longer and I will be without a home or anything.

I cry all the time and pray things will get better but its been 2 1/2 years and I feel like I cant take anymore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I know you feel as if you can't do anything about it but, usually, there are always options.

What friends or other family members do you have that could help? What outreach programs can you find in your area that can be of assistance?

Don't give up. Instead power up! Take your power back by beginning to explore your options, reach out to others without shame or blame, and follow the signs. You can do this!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A mess...
by: Anonymous

Hi I'm 28 years old and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with my life. My parents divorced when I was 9 and my mother made me choose between her or my dad to go live with. Which I think was unfair.

My dad got caught up with drugs and my mom got herself in a abuse relationship. I was left to watch over my youngest siblings and there was always random people in our home. Got molested at age 11 and from there become addicted to sex.

Got pregnant at age 16. Got into drugs after giving birth but managed to stop and take care of my son. Had a great partner but I couldn't stop thinking about other people. He cheated on me twice so I did the same to him.

Got on a huge argument and I decided to leave and he committed suicide. Got back on drugs and alcohol and getting crazy. Kids moved in with there grandma and I found a new partner. Now I'm engaged and I love him but I'm not happy.

I'm trying to be as faithful as I can but its really hard. Then his ex girlfriend comes in the picture. He's always talking to her and he wants me to meet her. The only reason I haven't said anything about her is because she was a big part of his life when he was transition (from woman to man). I don't know what to do I just want give up. I cry myself to sleep half of the nights and I'm tired of putting up a fake smile for everyone. I'm a mess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know if you are going to see my response to this post but I am going to respond nonetheless.

First and foremost, I am so sorry you have gone through all of the things you have. You have had a very tough road so far. And, as sappy as it sounds, while it sucks, it will only have power over you if you look at yourself as a victim. It's so important to know it sucks but, just as a lump of coal has a diamond inside, there are amazing lessons to learn from all of this. For instance, how strong you really are!

Have you gotten any professional help yet? I really recommend you do so that you can heal from all of this. It will be very difficult to really love someone and be happy if you haven't healed. This is because you are shut down, have trust issues, don't want to get hurt again ... the list can go on and on.

There are so many people who share a similar story. They got the help and support they needed and are living really fulfilling happy lives again. You can do the same, trust me!

Believe in yourself. Believe that you deserve to be happy. That you deserve to experience true love, joy and happiness. Because you DO DESERVE IT! Go out and get it!

Sending you Big, HUGE Hugs!!

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		What is wrong with me
by: Anonymous

I'm a 14 year old girl with friends and a loving family in a great economic situation and my life is great. But I hate almost every minute of it. I am completely faking my personality.

I think I might be bi and I know if I am most of my friends will hate me. I'm way more "emo" than I act and I can't stand being around a lot of my friends.

I don't trust very many people, and I'm very socially awkward. I'm really insecure and I don't see a point to life. It's all so stupid and I don't know if I believe in God like my family and
I'm terrified of my future and commitment.

I've been self harming and I've had suicidal thoughts. I'm going crazy and I feel guilty because my life is SOOO "perfect." I'm tired of faking my life, but if I'm myself everyone will hate me and I'll be alone. I don't know what's wrong with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There isn't anything wrong with you. You are human! Did you know that all of us wear a mask because we are afraid that we won't be loved or accepted for who we really are? You're fear is very common. However, in most cases, it is unfounded.

We make up these stories in our head that we aren't lovable, we don't matter, we're not enough, we're worthless ...

These are negative limiting beliefs that will keep you trapped forever.

Find help and deal with whatever it is you need to deal with so that you can begin to love yourself again. When you do, I'm sure you'll discover that you're actually pretty awesome!

Sending you big hugs,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I have no friends
by: Anonymous

I'm 13 years old I have a boyfriend. I feel lonely because at school my 'friends' were talking about going to the movies. So this one girl comes in front of me to talk to another girl and asked her if she wanted to go. She didn't ask me at all she just ignored me.

During lunch they were talking about when we first met each other and they didn't even say my name or even come close to it.

There was a time when the principal was calling a group of students and she didn't even know my name and I've been at that school for about 4 years.

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't there at school and their lives than probably they would have a better life. My boyfriends sister is my best friend and she only talks to me during class or when she needs help.

I don't think my boyfriend likes me sometimes I think he is only dating me for a bet. I feel used because people don't acknowledge me at all. Maybe I wouldn't be in their lives any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh my dear! You are at such a vulnerable age and HS is a very tough part of your life. I know the struggles, trying to fit in, trying to figure out who you are, who you can trust, what relationships are real. I get it!!!

Please don't look to them to validate you. Instead stand your ground and connect to the part deep inside of you that knows you are amazing, faults, warts and all! You are amazing and you need to know it and own it!

If these friends don't treat you with respect, move on! Find people that you have more in common with, people who will pay attention to you and treat you the loving way you deserve to be treated!

Again, you are at a tough age and while you won't believe this now, know it does get better!

Wishing you all the best!

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		What to do.
by: Anonymous

I'm sitting here talking to someone i don't even know because there's no one in my life that I can truly explain how I feel to. I'm at my end with my emotions I've been so stressed out and crying . Let me explain. I have alot of built in anger for a father that left me and he never acknowledges that I'm still hurt buy it even after 14 years .. Currently my grandmother on my moms side ( that I have lived with since my dad left ) is currently on hospice care and I take care of her a lot . I have a lot of guilt for being disrespectful or rude as a kid because of my anger and now she can't even remember who I am half the time . I also am going through a battle with my mom and grandfather over my boyfriend that has been staying with us . I'm supposed to start college in a week and don't even want to wake up in the mornings... and ask god why i'm here everyday. I don't think i'm important enough to live I feel like god has made a mistake and that everyone around me thinks i'm a mistake too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guilt, shame, depression ... they are all very real feelings. You are human and have a heavy heart. Know you are not alone. There is hope. There is help! Please check out my list of hotlines and consider reaching out to someone for help. This can be done anonymously and they can help you find someone locally that can support you.

Please know that you are not alone. Don't give up on yourself or your future. I know it seems as if you will be stuck in this forever but you won't be. Find the courage to reach out and rely on your faith ... even if its just a little spark right now.

In love and light,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Lost
by: Anonymous

I don't know how I should feel anymore. I am being pulled in all directions. Seeing it typed out makes it seem surreal. I just want someone to talk to. I am getting desperate. I am tired of putting myself out there for everyone, and not getting anything back in return. I am tired.

I feel like there is nothing more that I can do. I have tried everything from meditation to medication. It is influencing my day to day life. I do not know when my mood will change-- it just does.

It is nice to have somewhere to vent everything (well not everything), but still.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am glad you have someplace to vent for sure! Although it pains me to see that you don't have any other outlets. Have you checked out my hotlines page? They have folks availble 24/7 and it is confidential.

Also, I will be launching a coaching program in the next month of so. If you're 18 or older, zip me an email via my contact form and I'll include you when I announce the launch.

Hang in there! Better days will come!

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Can
by: Rashi

Hi I am rashi dono wil thus actually help also I have no idea but u have no one else to talk about this. I was child abused when I was six year old that left a scar in my life I grew up as a more dependent gal afraid to go out stand up for myself.I never discussed about anyone until I was 22 then I met thus guy in office who was the first guy to whom I got close to in all the talks I shared Wt I had been through he was very supportive then consoled me but then tis led him to be more close to him and he told he had a crush for me and I fell in love with him after many days he started ordering me to do all things which I dint want meaning we got a Lil physical that just kept increasing he never loves me I was a fool I believed he did and just did Wt he wanted eventually realized I was being abused again. Now he says he was never into me it was me all time. I am so addicted to him I can't come out I feel like talking to him if I do he has his conditions I need to do that if he has to talk I knw he is using me but I can't get out of this. I have tried hard very hard.stopped myself from msgng for months but then he never let it be like that he calls and then I am back to same state begging crying doin things Wt he tells. I can't discuss this anyone I need serious Help please help me all I do wen I am alone is I cry u can't take anymore but I can't come out of him too please help.
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Lost
by: Anonymous

I have no idea what I'm thinking right now wasting my time on this site, maybe it will help, I'm not the type to ask for any kind of sympathy and that's not what I'm doing here I just need someone to understand what I'm feeling or help me, I'm only 16 and I've already destroyed my life.

My father commit suicide when I was 14, he didn't live with me at the time, growing up my mom was a single mom and I loved her so much and though she was amazing we didn't have much but At school I've been that girl that everyone thinks is perfect.

When my dad died I began to skip school do drugs a1nd lash out at my mom. I made her hate herself and hate me. I was a horrible sister to my younger brother. I created such chaos in my family and I've completely lost myself.

I don't know who I am anymore and I don't know how I can move on from what has happened.

I can't tell my friends what's hapenjng not because they won't care but I'm ashamed. After all this time blaming my mom, I'm finally realizing I'm the problem.

I'm hurting so bad I just need to talk to someone. I don't know if I'm doing this right but I hope someone can undetstand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just reading your submission I can feel your pain. You are wise beyond your years. It is rare that people assume responsibility for their own actions and attitudes. You are right ... your life is the way it is because you created it that way ... even unconsciously.

Admitting you made mistakes and, more importantly, learning from them is the key to moving on. When I read your words, I feel a lot of heaviness in my heart. I sense that you are still grieving the death of your father.

You were so young when it happened which is hard enough and to have it be a suicide makes it even that much harder to comprehend and process.

Your "wrongdoings" that you discuss seems to be from a place of pain. When we feel pain that is completely unbearable, we defend against it with other emotions such as rage, anger, depression. We may abuse ourselves and others as a way to releive the pressure of holding the pain inside.

I applaud you for reaching out. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I would encourage you to find someone that you can talk to so that you can process your grief. Perhaps a mental health professinoal? Or consider starting with a hotline?

Here are a few options to consider:

Our House Grief Support Line: 1.888.417.1444

Read some great info here (cut and paste into your browser):

http://www.alexandrakennedy.com/ten-steps.html

I think this site would be a great place to start as well:

http://www.griefencounter.org.uk/teen-zone/

I truly hope that you find a heathy way to process your grief. Remember the emotions you are feeling are real and run deep. Have the courage to face these head on so that you can live the life you deserve ... one that is happy, successful and fulfilling.

Sending you light and love,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Lost
by: Anonymous

I have no idea what I'm thinking right now wasting my time on this site, maybe it will help, I'm not the type to ask for any kind of sympathy and that's not what I'm doing here I just need someone to understand what I'm feeling or help me, I'm only 16 and I've already destroyed my life.

My father commit suicide when I was 14, he didn't live with me at the time, growing up my mom was a single mom and I loved her so much and though she was amazing we didn't have much but At school I've been that girl that everyone thinks is perfect.

When my dad died I began to skip school do drugs a1nd lash out at my mom. I made her hate herself and hate me. I was a horrible sister to my younger brother. I created such chaos in my family and I've completely lost myself.

I don't know who I am anymore and I don't know how I can move on from what has happened.

I can't tell my friends what's hapenjng not because they won't care but I'm ashamed. After all this time blaming my mom, I'm finally realizing I'm the problem.

I'm hurting so bad I just need to talk to someone. I don't know if I'm doing this right but I hope someone can undetstand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just reading your submission I can feel your pain. You are wise beyond your years. It is rare that people assume responsibility for their own actions and attitudes. You are right ... your life is the way it is because you created it that way ... even unconsciously.

Admitting you made mistakes and, more importantly, learning from them is the key to moving on. When I read your words, I feel a lot of heaviness in my heart. I sense that you are still grieving the death of your father.

You were so young when it happened which is hard enough and to have it be a suicide makes it even that much harder to comprehend and process.

Your "wrongdoings" that you discuss seems to be from a place of pain. When we feel pain that is completely unbearable, we defend against it with other emotions such as rage, anger, depression. We may abuse ourselves and others as a way to releive the pressure of holding the pain inside.

I applaud you for reaching out. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I would encourage you to find someone that you can talk to so that you can process your grief. Perhaps a mental health professinoal? Or consider starting with a hotline?

Here are a few options to consider:

Our House Grief Support Line: 1.888.417.1444

Read some great info here (cut and paste into your browser):

http://www.alexandrakennedy.com/ten-steps.html

I think this site would be a great place to start as well:

http://www.griefencounter.org.uk/teen-zone/

I truly hope that you find a heathy way to process your grief. Remember the emotions you are feeling are real and run deep. Have the courage to face these head on so that you can live the life you deserve ... one that is happy, successful and fulfilling.

Sending you light and love,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Can't stop crying. Want to give up.
by: Sharon

Recently my husband started looking at me with total disgust. He started blaming me for things that I hadn't done. There was no affection or anything.

I found out that he had been talking to a woman and talking about me like a dog. He then abandoned me. Just left. We have 1 car and I have no transportation to get to work buy food etc... He won't talk to me or anything.

My life has crashed down in a matter of minutes. He acts as if I was the one cheated.

I looked over my life abandonment ... people always lying to me. I watched my father pass and when I was 27 I found out I was adopted. Right after that my mother died and I found my biological mother. And she lied to me.

I've never had a healthy relationship. I was abused and almost died at my abuser hands. Now I'm going through this with my husband. I almost want to give up. It's as if I was born to live a loveless life. No one cares. How do I get over these feelings?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sharon,

Thanks for reaching out to me. My heart goes out to you. You have clearly experienced so much pain and disappointment in your life. It saddens me when people say they don't feel loved. Based on your experience, I can understand why you would say that. However, remember there is a big difference between feeling loved and being lovable. Your feelings are valid but know that you are, indeed, lovable.

You sound like you have a heavy heart. Who wouldn't going through the life experiences you have? Unfortunately, you will not be able to "get over it". It doesn't work that way.

Instead, you will need to "work through it". By that I mean working through the pain, sadness, anger and ... eventually, the longing for connection. The longing for a healthy, real relationship. Believe it or not, they do exist.

I urge you to find a professional that you can talk to. Start by searching for free counseling in your local area. For example, "free counseling Baltimore Maryland". You should find plenty of options that you can look into.

Also, don't forget that there are a lot of 24/7 hotlines that you can call as well.

Don't lose hope. Instead, know that you are lovable. That you are an amazing person. These people don't have any power over you unless you give it to them. Mediate, journal, exercise .... everyday do something lovable for yourself. No matter how small, give yourself love everyday.

On another note, it is very healthy to cry! It takes courage and self love to surrender to the pain. Feel it, honor it as part of your journey and part of the healing process.

Don't give up Sharon. You are stronger than that. You are better than that. Empower yourself to find strength and courage to work through this. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel ... and happiness on the otherside.

Sending Love and Light,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Loneliness
by: valli

Hello my name is Valli! Im 21 years old. I have some stress issues and my family knows it.

It all starts when my brother fights with my father and left the house. I was so stressed and depressed by this situation because it was exam time for me. I was admited to a hospital because of stress two times. After I finished my diploma I started to work in retail. But, suddenly,one day I was admitted to the hospital and the doctor confirmed that I am a epileptic patient. I was very stunned by this result. Nobody in my family had this issue - why me?

Since that day, my parents asked not to go back to work until I get well. But, I cant stay at home like this. I feel like I'm not worthless anymore to anybody and I feel I have to talk to somebody!

I did try to take of my life several times. I don't want to do that again. I need some help!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Valli,

I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. It would be good for you to find someone locally that you can talk to. Someone that can help you sort all of this out. Do you have any friends or family that you can trust and confide in? If not, I'd encourage you to find a local therapist that can support you. Check out the depression hotlines page. Here you can find a hotline that best meets your needs and make a few calls. They can support your immediate needs and, most likely, refer you to someone in your local area.

It is good to hear that you do not feel worthless and that you do not want to attempt suicide again. Don't lose hope... instead find help! We all go through difficult times in our lives and it's how we handle them and what we learn from them that makes all the difference. Find the courage to face your problems head on and work through them so you can live a happy productive life again.

All the best,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Hope You Are Doing Okay
by: Dana

Marvic,

Just reaching out to let you know that I am thinking about you. I hope that you are doing okay and that you have found the support that you need to help you get through your situation.

Remember you deserve to be treated with respect. You are powerful, you are amazing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Remember there are many resources available to help you leave an abusive relationship. Reach out to them when you're ready.

All the best,

Dana
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Depresson Hotlines
by: Dana

More often than not, friends and family are quick to say “I would never take that. Why doesn’t she just leave?” and they say that simply because they do not understand.

An abusive relationship is a very tangled web that is woven over time. It comes with a lot of complexities. It is the motive of the abuser to make the victim feel powerless, helpless and alone. They do this by saying things like “you can’t leave me. Where would you go? Nobody would want you!” or “You can’t survive without me. You need me.” They isolate you from your friends, your family… all so that you have nobody to turn to. So that he is has the power.

It is the abusers motive to strip their victim of any dignity, self esteem or feelings of self worth. All of this so they can have control. When this happens over a long period of time, they are often quite successful. The victim begins to believe that they are worthless, that nobody will want them, that they are powerless.

Important thing to note here is that there is nothing farther from the truth! We, as women, are born powerful, we are born as amazing human beings that are immersed in courage, strength and dignity. Yes, we can get caught up in an unhealthy relationship where we begin to believe all the brainwashing that is happening. But then, eventually, we feel this twinge inside of us that says, “Wait a minute! I don’t deserve this! I deserve better! I am an amazing woman and I won’t stand for this anymore!”. Then we embrace our power and the courage it takes to make a better choice. To choose to live a better life. To choose to have what you deserve…..a partner that will love and respect you for the amazing woman that you really are.

As a Counselor I have helped many victims of domestic abuse. Helping them on this journey… taking them from a place of “but he said he was sorry” to the place of “I deserve better and I won’t stand for this anymore”. It is such an honor to stand beside them and watch them reclaim their power, reclaim their right to be heard, to be respected.

One word of caution though….reclaiming must be done in such a way that you are safe. If you decide to leave, plan your departure carefully. When you leave or threaten to leave the abuser feels as if he’s losing control and things can escalate into a dangerous, sometimes life threatening, situation very quickly.

Call the hotline, seek support and advice on how you can leave, what kind of resources are available to you (ie. Safe house) and develop a plan so that you can leave the relationship in a way that keeps you safe! I can’t stress this enough. Reclaim your power, but do it strategically with the help of a professional. There is a lot to think about and you want to stay safe through the process.

Sending you lots of love and light,

Dana

Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thanks So Much
by: marvic

I just need someone to talk to that will actually listen who has experience with this sort of issue because I'm really hurting inside and I can't talk to him.

He is already set in his ways. Yesterday we got in to a fight because he was drinking and he urinated on our office room floor and on a pair of pants that weren't evenn his. He made it into a bigger issue so we fought. He hurt me, I hurt him back. Now today we are both walking around sore. Our apt. is a wreck.

He always belittles me, makes me feel worthless, then he appollogizes. I'm a nervous wreck. I can't think. I can't eat. I'm just so unhappy. I cant sleep. I just dont know what to do. He says he's leaving but he never goes anywhere. But when he says that I just feel so relieved. It's like my heart is letting go of a burden. Thanks for listening. I appreciate that thanks so much.

From a lost friend in need of a shoulder and an ear. Thanks.

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