Depression and Anxiety:
Is it me?
I'm depressed and I really don't tell anyone about my feelings or how I feel deep inside. I'm a young mother of 2 girls and lately me and my fiancé have been non stop fighting.
All he does is blame me for everything. He says I B**** all the time about everything - when its not true. One major thing we fight about is everyday he just wakes up, takes a shower and goes to his friends shop or wherever his friends say come. All the while, I'm stuck at home getting 2 baby's ready and cooking for them...and cleaning up his mess and the house..and I have to cook for myself.
I never get to go out. I am always stuck here and he doesn't see anything wrong with it. I do not have a second vehicle so we share but 99.9% of the time he has the car. He doesn't see my pain about past years...he has cheated on me and it broke me real hard..
I stayed because we have a daughter and he was my first love.. I don't want to lose him... I want some answers please because everyday its killing me and I can't do this anymore. I don't appreciated at all. Instead I feel used.
I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. You have every right to feel frustrated and upset. The fact that he does whatever he wants and you have no down time is very unfair.
I am a mother of 2 myself and, while I give up a lot
to make sure they are well taken care of, I do need some time to unwind, chill and recharge every once in a while. We all do.
It seems to me that you need to really take a long hard look at this relationship. Are you truly happy? Do you really love him or are you staying with him only because you have children? Or because it is the most convenient thing to do? Or even, perhaps, you are afraid of being on your own?
You, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness. No one else. If you are unhappy, you need to dig deep to find out why. Then decide what needs to be done to change your situation.
There is a fantastic book that I think you'd find very enlightening and helpful. It's called "Codependent No More: Stop Controlling Others And Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie. I've read it several times and I always learn something about myself and my relationship. And, most importantly, how I am contributing to the situation and my own unhappiness. It is a great book!
Thanks for reaching out and please remember, you are 100% responsible for your own destiny, for your own happiness. I hope that you find the courage to make the changes you need so that you and your children can be happy.
One final thought, as Dr. Phil says, it is better to come from a broken home then live in a broken home. Something to think about as you decide what's best for your little babies!!
In light and love,