A Breath Away From Suicide

by Christopher
(Lebanon)

To all the nights when I have cried;

Wishing that one day I would die;
And just get over it;
Cause no one's perfect;
I wanna try but what's the point?;
If everything ain't so different;
I wanna try to get up but I always fail;
I try my best with every little detail;
But some people keep on tearing me down;
Got so many problems I could drown;

Some nights I cry myself to sleep;
Wishing my cuts were really deep;
Sleeping with no one by my side;
A breath away from suicide;
Some nights I see my own shadow;
Haunting me, keeping me in sorrow;
People wouldn't care if I leave anyways;
Yeah I'm just a passing through nowadays;

Sometimes I feel like nothing's worth it;
I cut myself and always keep it as a secret;
But what's the point of having pain?;
That runs me over like a train;
I wanna have someone to care;
Someone to love, someone out there;
It hurts that whenever I'm alone;
Nobody hears my screams that are gone;
No one feels the pain inside my heart;
It's been this way since the start;

Some nights I cry myself to sleep;
Wishing my cuts were really deep;
Sleeping with no one by my side;
A breath away from suicide;
Some nights I see my own shadow;
Haunting me, keeping me in sorrow;
People wouldn't care if I leave anyways;
Yeah I'm just a passing through nowadays;

But then came a little kid;
Talking about mistakes he did;
Holding my hand when I fear;
Whispering words I never hear;
I wish I could thank him enough;
For saving my life, giving me love;
He turned my life all around;
When he lifted me off the ground;

Some nights I cry myself to sleep;
Wishing my cuts were really deep;
Sleeping with no one by my side;
A breath away from suicide;
Some nights I see my own shadow;
Haunting me, keeping me in sorrow;
People wouldn't care if I leave anyways;
Yeah I'm just a passing through nowadays.


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Christopher,

I am sorry you are in so much pain. I hope that writing these poems is giving you some relief. If you are, indeed, that depressed and you are also cutting, I encourage you to reach out and get some help. This can be a very slippery slope so it is very important to get help sooner rather than later.

Have you seen my Depression Hotlines page? On that page I have provided all kinds of hotlines that have been categorized for easy reference. These hotlines are supported by trained professionals and most are available 24/7 so it would be a great place to start. I encourage you to find the strength to make a call or two and get some support. You can call and remain anonymous as well.

There are depression support lines near the top of the page and there is a support line for cutters that you'll find closer towards the bottom. Call one or call both. Either way it is important to know that you are not alone and that there is a lot of support available. Finding the courage and self love to reach out and ask for it is the first step towards healing.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Dana