I don't really know what to do right now. I feel like most of the time, especially during the day/morning and when I'm busy, I feel fine and don't really have any problems.
Sometimes though, especially at night or when something that seems small but feels like a big deal happens, I get into these really really down moods where I cry for a long time and just keep going over in my head how I am a failure and how my life is not enjoyable to the point where I wonder what I'm even living for.
I don't think I'm at risk of suicide, but I have done really mild self-harm kind of. I also think I may have some kind of social anxiety. I usually don't feel very anxious (though I have had spells), but I tend to avoid people I don't know well.
Part of me thinks I may be over exaggerating my problems because I want someone to tell me there's a reason for how shitty I feel. I don't know though, should I get help?
Hello! First of all, not sure when you wrote this as there isn't a date but if my response is really late, my sincere apologies!
I always recommend getting the help you need to deal with your issues and heal so you can break free from it once and for all!
Even as a counselor, I go to counseling from time to time because I can't see my issues very clearly. It always helps to have an objective opinion as to what might be going on with you and how you can course correct so you get on your path back to happy!
Hopefully you've already reached out for the help that you need. If so, I applaud you! If not, and you're still having issues, go get some help! There's no shame in that at all! It takes courage and strength to reach out and get help when we are up against hard times. It's the cowards that choose not to and instead suffer in silence!
Hope this helps!