my mother shuts down my ideas

by diola
(nigeria)

really, what started this is my urge to make a little money for when I leave college. ive always thought of small businesses I can start in school without it affecting my school work and life.


I have no trust fund set and even though I'm a college student I kinda wanna start one for myself. I have some money saved up. allowances and stuff I've been saving to use as capital and I haven't spent from it cuz I want to use it to get more money.

I've come up with a coupe of ideas of I was about to go through with ordering somethings online to sell to some of my mates. totally legal. I thought it was a good idea so I went to meet dad to help me with the billing address for the order. my mom overheard and she was like. "what are you ordering. must you always want to do something. you never see anything through anyways. you do no research...."

I think this is very unfair because I do my research. I do surveys with my friends to check my mates needs and what they'd want to buy and I seek advice from people who's run successful businesses in school without it affecting their lives. In all, I think I've tried as much as a 17 year old should.

Normally, what I would be expecting would be a little encouragement which is all I really want from my mom. I'm not asking for money or a drive or anything. just a little encouragement but I'm not getting that. eventually I stopped meeting her to ask for help and just found ways to do my things without her involved.

Either way she still finds a way to butt into my work, telling me the cons I don't want to hear and the reasons I shouldn't do this and that. Never the reasons why I should or a "at least you're trying" she doesn't see the kind of effort I'm making as a seventeen year old and that makes me sad.

I just wanna hear "you're doing good" that's all.

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Some Mom Like Advice
by: Dana

First off, for being only 17, you should be so proud of yourself! The ambition you have is very impressive for your age.

As a mom, I can tell you that sometimes we forget how just the little pats on the back can make us feel so much better. Have you told your mom how you feel? I'd want to hear from my daughter if she was feeling this way. Perhaps you should talk to her about it.

Either way, one very important lesson for you in all of this. Never look outside of yourself for validation! Because when you do, as in this case, you're setting yourself for up for disappointment. It doesn't mean that you don't take their advice into consideration. It doesn't mean that you don't care or don't love them. It simply means that you will not give them the power to determine your self-worth.

As the saying goes, no-one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission!

Don't give them permission. Don't give them the power. Instead, empower yourself to embrace how amazing you are and follow your dreams!

Follow your heart but make sure you bring your brain along with you!

Thanks for reaching out!

Big Hugs!

Dana

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