Love, Pain, Fear and Confusion might kill me
I'm in love with this chiq and I recently asked her out but she said that until I change ma behavior..that's when she'll consider me.
I've gotten into a fight in front of her and she thinks that I have anger issues that I need to take care of... Even though I was trying to defend her.
I get jealous when I see her hugging other guys tightly and jumping on them, but afraid to comment or react coz she might get pissed in the process, plus we are not official yet.
She knows I don't trust her and that pisses her off.... and it's true I don't coz she entertains the people who want to date her and likes having them around her all the time. I can't stand that and I've told her but all she says is that I need to change... I need to trust her, I need to stop smiling when I'm having a serious talk with her, I need to stop getting annoyed for no reason and control ma anger.
She recently told me that the ball is in ma court, that I can decide on what I want and let her know coz she's tired of tha arguments and fights we have all the time...and threw the towel.
I've really tried to show her how I feel by calling her twice or thrice in a day for 15-20min. but she still says that she's not convinced yet that I love her... Even though I've
told her I do... That I still need to prove ma self.
I don't know what to do anymore and I'm almost giving up. Pliz help
Thanks for reaching out. Just based on what you describe here it appears that you have a very unhealthy relationship with her. Both of you seem to have your own issues that probably need to be dealt with or the issues will infest, not only this relationship, but those in the future as well.
In any relationship, remember it has to be a mutually rewarding thing. Sometimes we can love someone and they might not love us back. If that is the case, it is important to have the courage to let go and move on. Trust the universe that the one that you are meant to be with will eventually cross your path when you are ready.
In the meantime, use this experience as a way to learn about yourself, about relationships, about life. Believe in yourself. Stay true to yourself.
Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect too.
Consider a few prayers for inspiration ...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."
And one from one of my favorite authors Richard Bach ...
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were."
Hoping you find peace in this place of frustration.